Donkeys grieve as a bonded pair, not a herd animal
Horses live in herds and can usually transfer their loyalty to a new companion; donkeys bond in pairs, often for life, and the bond is the centre of their world. A donkey whose partner dies may call for days, search the field boundaries, stand where they used to stand together and lose interest in everything, including food. This is not stubbornness or bad behaviour — it is bereavement in an animal built for one deep attachment. Elderly donkeys, who may have spent decades with the same partner, are often hit hardest, and their grief deserves the same seriousness you would give any medical problem.
Letting him say goodbye
If you can, let him be with his companion's body for a while after death — in the field or stable where it happened, with you nearby but not hurrying him. Donkeys typically sniff, nudge and stand quietly with the body, and this process seems to settle them in a way that simply finding an empty field does not; a donkey removed too early may search and call far longer. Stay with him, let him leave when he chooses, and only then arrange for the body to be taken away, out of his sight. Keep his own routine — feeds, shelter, the order of the day — exactly as it was, so the loss is the only change he has to absorb.
The appetite watch: why a donkey off his food is urgent
Watch what he eats as closely as you watch his mood. A grieving donkey who picks at feed for a day needs kindness and tempting fibre; a donkey who stops eating altogether needs a vet the same day, because donkeys who go off their food can become seriously ill very quickly in a way horses usually do not. Offer his normal plain diet little and often, by hand if that is what it takes, and resist the urge to comfort him with rich treats — donkeys gain weight easily and sugary extras store up trouble. Note each day how much he has actually eaten, not how much you have offered.
Company for the days and weeks after
In the gap before a new companion arrives, you become his herd. Spend unhurried time in his field or stable — grooming him, sitting nearby, walking the fence line with him — several times a day rather than in one long visit. If other animals live nearby, arrange things so he can see and hear them across a fence; even a neighbouring pony or a pair of goats is better than silence and an empty horizon. Keep handling gentle and predictable, and watch for the small signs of recovery: ears pricked at feed time, a bray returned to a distant donkey, interest in a visitor. Recovery is usually measured in weeks, not days.
Finding a new companion at his pace
Most bereaved donkeys do best with another donkey, ideally a calm, older one whose energy matches his; a quiet pony is the next best choice. Introduce them across a fence first, for days rather than hours, and let shared grazing start in short, supervised sessions with food spread wide so there is nothing worth guarding. Do not be discouraged if he seems indifferent at first — grief and caution look similar, and many donkeys bond slowly the second time. KinsLe's Care Teams helps you cover those early weeks properly, with the extra visits, appetite notes and fence-line introductions set as shared duties everyone can follow.