Her choice to attend is the whole strategy
A confident cat who strolls in to inspect guests needs nothing from you but protection from being over-handled. A shy cat needs something different: permission not to attend at all. Both are served by the same arrangement, an open route out of the room and a destination worth going to. Decide before the doorbell rings which room is hers for the visit, stock it with her bed or hide, water, and a litter tray if the visit is a long one, and make that room out of bounds to guests, children included.
Being carried into the gathering to meet everyone, held on a lap for introductions, or fished out from under a bed to be admired converts a manageable event into a frightening one, and it teaches her that visitors predict being hunted. Warn anyone who suggests it, kindly and in advance.
The doorbell moment and the first ten minutes
Most cats react to the doorbell, knocking, and a hallway suddenly full of coats, voices, and unfamiliar smells. If yours bolts at the bell, let that be the plan rather than a problem: she hears it, she leaves for her room, and the visit starts without her. Closing her in her room just before expected guests arrive, with everything she needs, suits a cat who gets trapped behind sofas in the commotion of arrivals.
For a cat who stays, ask guests to do the hardest thing for animal lovers: ignore her entirely. No crouching, no reaching, no calling. A cat ignored by strangers reads them as safe within minutes and often investigates on her own terms, approaching to sniff shoes and bags while the conversation flows around her. That self-directed approach is the difference between a cat who tolerates visitors and one who starts appearing for them.
Brief guests like it matters, because it does
Give visitors three short rules. Let her come to you. Offer a hand low and still to sniff, and stroke her cheek or chin if she pushes into it rather than reaching over her head. And never pick her up. Children need the same rules in their own words, plus supervision, since a squealing chase game after a retreating cat is the classic visitor incident.
Watch her signals during the visit: ears flattening, tail lashing, skin twitching, moving away repeatedly, or freezing still under a stroking hand all mean she has had enough, and the kind move is opening her route out, not photographing the moment. A cat whose limits are respected in company stays relaxed about company.
Big gatherings and overnight guests
For a party, a houseful for a holiday, or any event with music, doors opening constantly, and people she has never met, set her up in her room before the first arrival and keep her there with the door shut, visiting her yourself at natural breaks. The risk calculus changes with numbers: escape through a propped front door becomes likelier than stress from missing a party she never wanted to attend.
Overnight guests change the house for days, so keep her feeding place, tray, and sleeping spots where they always are even if a guest is sleeping in the room she usually uses; move the guest routine around the cat's essentials where you can, provide her a substitute perch in your room, and expect a day or two of caution before she files the visitor as furniture.
Put the visitor rules where everyone can see them
Write down her safe room, her no-pickup rule, and which doors stay shut, rather than re-briefing each arrival from memory in a noisy hallway. KinsLe's Family Sharing keeps those visitor arrangements alongside her profile for the whole household, so whoever answers the door gives guests the same calm, consistent version of how your cat likes company handled.