Turn-taking is the clearest sign of play
In genuine play, roles swap. One cat chases, then allows herself to be chased; one pins, then releases and flops over so the other can pounce. The whole exchange has a rhythm of bursts and pauses, and either cat can walk away mid-game and be allowed to go. Bodies stay loose and bouncy, ears point forward or swivel with interest, and tails move without puffing up. Play is also mostly quiet. You may hear soft chirps or the thud of paws, but sustained yowling, growling, hissing, or screaming belongs to conflict, not games. If both cats return to the same room afterwards, eat near each other, or settle down in sight of one another, what you watched was almost certainly play, however dramatic the wrestling looked.
A real fight looks one-sided and sounds alarming
Fighting cats do not swap roles fairly. One cat pursues, corners, and keeps pressing while the other tries to escape, freezes under a hard stare, or lashes out from a defensive crouch. Ears flatten tightly against the head, tails lash or puff to full thickness, and bodies go stiff rather than springy. Fur may come loose, bites break the skin rather than mouthing gently, and one cat may urinate or empty her bowels in fear during a serious clash. Afterwards the loser often hides for a long stretch and may avoid rooms, food bowls, or litter trays the other cat controls. Treat that aftermath seriously: repeated one-sided attacks are a relationship problem, not rough play, and the pattern tends to deepen once a cat learns she cannot feel safe in shared space.
Break up a fight without becoming part of it
Never reach into a fight with your hands, because a cat at that level of arousal redirects bites and claws onto whatever touches her, and injuries from an aroused cat can be severe. Make a sudden loud noise such as a sharp clap, drop a cushion between the cats, or slide a large piece of cardboard between them to break the stare and give each an escape route. Then let them separate into different rooms and leave them apart until both are calm, eating, and moving normally again, which can take far longer than owners expect. Do not comfort-cuddle the aggressor or punish either cat; arousal needs quiet and time, not handling. If a bite has punctured skin on either cat, book a veterinarian visit even if the wound looks tiny, because cat bites seal over quickly and can form abscesses underneath.
When scuffles become a pattern to solve
Occasional spats over a favourite perch happen in most multi-cat homes, but daily chases, ambushes at litter trays, or one cat guarding doorways point to competition or fear that needs addressing. Add resources so neither cat has to queue: separate feeding spots, extra trays in different areas, and more than one high resting place. Reintroduce the pair gradually with food on either side of a closed door if relations have truly broken down, and ask your veterinarian for help if aggression appeared suddenly, since pain or illness can turn a tolerant cat hostile. Keeping a short note of when clashes happen, where, and over what helps any professional see the pattern quickly. When a scuffle leaves you unsure what you witnessed, KinsLe's Kimmy can be asked straight away about the ears, sounds, and turn-taking you noticed, with the details kept beside these cats' profiles for next time.